March 14, 2005

March 14, 2005

The day has just begun.
I’m in Quadrant 3 of the Johari Window:
My online journal.

i’m listening to this morning’s voice in my head
it jumps around a lot
it’s tough to separate what the voice is saying from what i’m writing

i tel teh voice
“today jay will have a wonderful experience
it will be but one of many times for broad smiles.”

i flash on quotations.
all children are gifted.
but their gifts are different.

it’s the same with adults.

you and i are not alike.
my default mode of thinking is conceptual.
i manipulate symbols.
everything i see appears in multiple layers.
there’s a scrambling at bottom — that’s the real stuff.
seen from above, a pattern evolves.
patterns fit into patterns as in a fractal landscape
and everywhere are connections
that connect everything with everything else

* * * interrupt * * *
had to find some breakfast for the pups
we are out of dog food.

patterns
patterns
patterns

that’s how brains work

we truly are neural networks

patttern-making is so fundamental to the way we think
that we can make up our minds based solely on pattern recognition
and then convince ourselves that logic is how we made the deciison

the voice in the brain is a bullshitter.
it tells you the story you want to hear.

the auto pattern recognizers filter reality,
letting but a tiny stream of beeps and waves get through

the storyteller blends this stream of sensory input
into past patterns
to create the dialog that’s in there

the voice tells you over and over
that it all makes sense,
that you are separate from all else, and
that you are in control

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